Mutiny is Afoot!

I thought I had mastered the art of patience until my 5-year-old decided to declare war. Apparently, I’m now the reigning champion of saying the same thing over and over, and boy, do I have the trophies to prove it—my own echo!

First, it was the endless "Huh?" and "What did you say?" questions, accompanied by the TV volume cranked up so high the neighbors thought we were hosting a rock concert. Off to the audiologist we went, only to find out her hearing is as perfect as a dog’s when you open a bag of chips.

Then came the temper tantrums. It’s like being in a soap opera, except I’m not getting paid and there’s no commercial break. I try to understand the drama queen’s motives. As a mom in her 40s, I thought I had the calm voice of reason down pat. For a while, I could even get her to agree with me.

Now, when I gently suggest, "Please go upstairs to take your bath," I brace for the rebellion. She hasn’t even said it yet, but I can feel the "No" coming, like a storm on the horizon.

Her lips flatten, her eyes narrow, and she plants herself like a stubborn little tree. And thus begins the epic staring contest. I aspire to be a good mom, one who gives her child freedom and fun. But, apparently, bath time is up for debate. Or so she’s convinced me. She’s even brokered a deal where Fridays are now bath-free zones.

What do you do when your pint-sized dynamo decides she's a rebel without a cause when it comes to hygiene, bedtime, or any sort of tidying up? Well, I've got one ace in the hole that never fails, and it's a true sign of the times. Say goodbye to the iPad! It's the ultimate consequence. She gets 30 minutes a day with her beloved screen and taking that away makes it seem like she won't survive the apocalypse.

Our daily routine now includes a tug of war that would make even the strongest sumo wrestler proud. It's reached the stage where I've had to assure her, "No matter how much I get frustrated with you, I will love you forever, no matter what." Sometimes she throws it back at me like a boomerang. I'll say, "Wow, you're really testing my patience today!" and she'll respond with a cheeky grin, "But you love me no matter what!"

This kid, this little fireball, is basically my world wrapped in a tiny package of sass and charm. She keeps me on my toes like a caffeine-fueled squirrel and loves with the intensity of a thousand puppies. I'm so honored to be her Mom!

--Amber