No Traditional Village Here!

So, my friend is about to have a baby, and she was worried that her baby shower was going to be as empty as a deserted island. Why? Because her "village" is far away and she's a transplant in the current state she resides.

As a fellow transplant, I completely understand her anxiety about not having a support group in the challenging world of motherhood. I come from a huge family. My mom had six brothers and sisters and with the exception of one, they all lived close enough to borrow sugar from each other. Birthdays weren't with daycare friends; they were full-blown family reunions with cousins, aunts, and uncles.

My "traditional" village is over a 5-hour drive away. I didn't think much about this when my first child arrived. But now that she's 6 and asking about her aunts and uncles, it feels like a revelation. My husband, on the other hand, is happy to be away from his own village, which is teeming with siblings and cousins. He doesn't miss the constant family gatherings. Me? I miss the chaos of being surrounded by people who understand you and are ready to help without hesitation.

When my son was born, it felt like a neon sign flashing, "Need Village ASAP!" My husband had to travel outside of the country for four weeks, and I was left managing everything with a newborn and his older sister. I remember finally breaking down and asking a friend to come over to watch the baby for me so I could tackle the laundry. I am not one to ask for help so it took me a while to work up the courage. But, what I've come to realize over the last year is that I have a village. I just didn't realize it was one.

I have a multitude of friends I can message, and they will be here for me. I also wanted to provide that "online village" too by starting this blog. To let mothers know that they are not alone. We all need people in our corner through the various walks of life. There are challenges along the way, but we should never feel that there are not people who have our back.

So, look around and I bet you'll see your village. They may not always be your sister or best friend growing up. They could be your next-door neighbor or co-worker turned friend. Support can come in so many fashions too. I supported my friend who's about to have her baby by getting her several gifts including the butt paste spatula! That's a true friend, indeed!

--Amber